green with it

They say that envy is an ugly emotion but I completely disagree. As long as you don’t act on it, I think that jealousy can be one of the most instructive emotions. Sometimes the things that twist your heart around come from left field, and they show you want you didn’t even realize you wanted.

When I can’t bear to hear your travel plans, it means that maybe my heart is just aching to get back on the road itself. When I’m pouting through the recounting of your ski vacation, I should really be asking myself why I’ve let years pass since organizing my last one. There’s nothing wrong with envy as long as I remember it’s not about them, it’s about me. Ok, I never said it wasn’t a selfish emotion.

Sometimes your conscious thoughts are leading you one way, but your heart pulls you towards something else. Even when you’re in the dark about what’s best, maybe your subconscious knows. To me that’s a very comforting thought, something you can rely on, because it can’t lie to you. The heart wants what it wants. Sometimes it just reminds us that we want it all, and I love that too. To want it all is to really appreciate all that’s out there for us, and to know that even though the choices and setbacks can be exhausting, it’s worth it. I should never doubt the power of the subconscious. It’s what makes us wake up on New Year’s Day already feeling different, feeling new possibility, a mind not weighed down by all those months past.

Green is envy, but it’s also new life. And isn’t that the way?

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4 responses to “green with it

  1. Oh I agree, but that’s only because you have a positive and constructive outlook. I’m not sure you take into account those people who are actually just that self-centred: those for whom envy becomes internalised and leads to resentment. But hey, it sounds like you at least are mentally stable 😀

  2. That’s true…. maybe if selfish people envy normal people it could still work though?

  3. this was a fabulous and beautiful post!

  4. Too true. You write really well, I too am a literature freak. Saw you on 20sb and just thought I’d take a look at your blog. No doubt I’ll be back! =]

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